Unbound (the TORQUED trilogy Book 3) Page 19

  A small sigh passes her lips, and I groan again, my dick sliding against her warm center. It’s a natural reaction between us and our bodies take over. My forehead drops to her shoulder and I’m lost in the sensations for the briefest moments, rocking into her two more times, knowing I should stop.

  Sophie’s hands find my back, nails lightly digging into my skin, a soft sigh caught against my shoulder.

  This is why I could never leave her alone. She needs me as much as I need her.

  I turn my head toward her, bringing her mouth to mine. Her kiss leaves me unstable, intoxicated, and I know she’s searching for an answer, one I can’t give. Whether I want to admit it or not, we’re two people afraid to let go of our past. If there is anything I’m holding onto, just within reach, it’s Sophie, and this is where it leaves us. Part of me feels like maybe this is wrong; we’re returning back to square one, letting passion take point and lead us when we know our issues lie deeper.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this,” I say against her lips, unable to pull away. “You’re drunk.”

  “I’m not that drunk. I mean I was, but now I’m not,” she admits, finding my mouth again. I memorize soft curves with my eyes, with my tongue. She grips my sheets, fingers curling and sliding slowly. My thoughts cloud, her purpose for coming in here evident.

  I pause, hesitate. “You sure?” I ask, rough with need, my hands moving down to the edge of her panties.

  She nods and stares at me. “I haven’t been with anyone since you, and it’s been a really long time. Let’s just… I want you.”

  I know what she’s saying. Whether we should or shouldn’t do this, right or wrong, I’m what she’s familiar with and what she wants. My body trembles. “You have to say it… this time… you have to tell me you want this too.”

  “Do you?” she asks me, searching my eyes. Has she mistook my need for approval as denial?

  Do I want this? It’s a loaded question, one that spans far beyond the confines of this room. “I want it.”

  “I want you….” Her lips are on mine next, attempting to convince my all-too-willing body.

  Twisting to the side, I reach for a condom in my nightstand. She says nothing as I put it on. And then I’m there, and I still, looking up beneath lashes as I pant and lick my dry lips, my gaze drifting from her breasts to those beautiful eyes, begging her to tell me it’s okay without words. And when she does with a simple nod, I finally push myself inside.

  “Oh God. Fuck, I missed this.” Her back arches, my mouth gliding over skin I’ve dreamed of for the last year and a half.

  “Sophie…,” I breath out, my entire body shaking as I move with her.

  My jaw clenches and her breath halts, the expression on her face is torn between pleasure and pain.

  She makes a noise and I stop. She shakes her head. “Keep going.” She’s reassuring, urging me to keep going.

  And we definitely keep going, my skin feels like it’s burning up, my heart racing, and her cheeks are flushed. I can't stop staring at her face. Her hands trace my brows, the side of my face. Nothing compares to his feeling of her beneath me, pressing herself closer, arms lowering on either side of her head as I suffocate myself in her presence.

  Grasping the back of my neck, our mouths collide again. I draw in a quick breath, lips fumbling with hers as our bodies move as one.

  One thing’s for certain, it’s not lasting long. Or I’m not. Within the first two minutes, I nearly come twice but I hold on until she’s falling apart beneath me, her body laid out before me, breathless and flushed. Memories of our first time in my truck surface, cloud my brain but, they’re no longer haunting.

  “You’re beautiful,” I pant, focus shifting across her face as I pull back to push forward again.

  Her lashes flutter, but she doesn’t close her eyes, and I’m thankful for that. Before, I never waited for her to come herself during sex, it was all about me and I didn’t care if she enjoyed it. A pain stabs my heart. I can’t believe I ever had those feelings.

  I whisper I never want to stop in between her pleas that I don’t, our words suffocating in the space between us as lips find lips.

  She wraps her legs around my waist, forcing me deeper. I breathe quicker as I move, grinding and pushing and teasing. “Fuck,” I curse, my nose brushing hers as I trace her bottom lip with my tongue. Her hands dig into my sides, deepening the kiss.

  “Don’t stop,” she whispers, her lips against my ear.

  I won’t. I can’t. Not now. I bury my face between her neck and shoulder before sliding my palms down her legs, hands curling around thighs to move faster.

  As if she wants just as much as I’m giving, she spreads her legs wider. I begin to rock against her with desperation, chasing the need.

  I don’t know why, but I have a sudden need to look at her. Lifting my head, I exhale slow, quick breaths as I move above her.

  And it’s too much, for us both maybe. My pace quickens, whispering words against her lips that make her moan, unravelling beneath my touch.

  And then my attention shifts to her falling apart beneath me, my head bent, watching and cursing before as I shudder and groan.

  I collapse against her, unwilling to move, our bodies bathed in blue dawn. She runs her fingers through the sweat-dampened hair at the nape of my neck, feeling the beat of my heart gradually beginning to slow.

  Silence lingers between us, neither of us saying a word. I don’t know what this means and neither one of us says anything even when we part. She doesn’t move right away, but too soon, she smiles at me and sits up as I roll to the side.

  Reaching out, I grasp her wrist when she attempts to get up. “You don’t have to go.”

  “I know.” She touches the side of my face, her thumb brushing over my lips. And then she leans in, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. I try to make her stay, my hand cradling the back of her head but she pulls away, and I don’t want to force her into anything. Not anymore.

  And then she’s gone, and I’m left staring at my ceiling wondering what this means. It certainly didn’t feel like a good-bye.

  BEFORE I’M EVEN coherent, I’m hard, my dick throbbing. It’s something that happens often, sure, but this morning it’s different. I want her. And before I know it, I’m palming it. Breathing in deeply, my back arches against the mattress.

  God I wish she was in my room again. She slipped out of the room moments after we finished and I didn’t stop her. I knew the last thing she wanted to do was explain to anyone why she was in my bed. That was for us to figure out.

  But I’m still hard and the need for more is still there. I tighten my grip when there’s a bang on my door. “Get up, fucker. It’s wedding day and I need your help moving shit.”

  It’s Raven.

  Perfect fucking timing.

  Groaning, I roll on my stomach for obvious reasons because she doesn’t understand privacy and basically does a cannon ball onto my bed. “Moving what?” I mumble into the pillow.

  “Tables, chairs, lots of things, and it’s raining and muddy….” Her voice trails off, a gasp following. “You dirty fucking slut.”

  My eyes snap open. Fucking shit. I forgot to get rid of the condom wrapper. It’s on my nightstand.

  I start to roll my eyes but Raven punches me in the kidney. “I don’t need any of your smart-ass remarks today.” And then she smacks my ear, hard and pulls my hair. “You break her heart again, and I’m going to come in here and cut your dick off, do you hear me?”

  “I hear you.” I shake my head trying to ungrip her hand. “And if you don’t get out of here, I’m going to rip this blanket off and show you what a real dick looks like.”

  She pulls my hair harder. “Whatever.”

  Like the perfect fucking timing Nova has, she comes into my room next and Raven’s quick to grab the condom wrapper, pinch my nose so I open my mouth and then shove the wrapper in my goddamn mouth.

  I hate my sister. I really do. There’s been times I wish she wo
uld have suffocated in the womb. It’s awful, but now is certainly one of those times when I have a motherfucking condom wrapper in my mouth.

  I have a weak stomach but the fact that my seven-year-old niece is standing in front of us, hands on her hips and her mess of brown curls matted to her head, keeps me from vomiting. “It’s raining outside.”

  Raven stands up from the bed. “It’s no big deal. We got this.” And then glances down at me, smiling. “Don’t we, Uncle?”

  If I could punch Raven and actually get away with it, I would.

  “Nova?” someone calls from downstairs.

  Her eyes widen. “Red’s looking for me.” And then she jets out of the room.

  Raven takes my pillow, the one my head’s on and then hits me in the face with it. “Clean up. Beck and Linc are downstairs waiting for you and we have a wedding to control.”

  I spit the wrapper at her. “You’re such a bitch.” To purposely piss my sister off, I turn over and rip my comforter away.

  She’s quick and runs away with her eyes closed, right into the wall. Rubbing her forehead, she starts to laugh. “I totally fucking hate you right now.”

  She’s out the door when I hear her say to Sophie, “Get up, slut. And for God’s sake, take a shower. He’s dirty.”

  Sophie laughs and my smile ignites. The sound hits my chest, then my heart. It pounds, beats for a girl who’s just feet away laughing. Though I can’t see her, I know exactly what the smile gracing her lips looks like. I know because last night, in my arms, it never left.

  Pulling my jeans on, I climb out of bed hoping to see her in the hall but when I’m out of the room, she’s downstairs already.

  Damn it.

  Running my hand through my hair, I jog downstairs to the kitchen. There’s a house full of people already and I’m hoping to see Sophie, but she’s nowhere to be found.

  “What a fucking mess,” Raven remarks, pouring a shot of vodka at six-thirty in the morning. I mean, the sun’s not finished coming up. “And we don’t know where Lenny is.”

  “What do you mean you don’t know where she is?” I ask, noticing Red pacing the back deck with a cell phone attached to his ear.

  “That’s exactly what I mean, dumbass.” She smacks the back of my neck as I’m pouring a cup of coffee.

  “Does he know?” I nod at Red, turning around to lean against the counter. Beck and Linc come into the kitchen but keep their distance.

  “No.” Raven shakes her head. “He’s calling around trying to find canopies for the wedding since it’s you know, fucking raining.”

  Glancing around the room, I know I need to talk to Beck and Linc, but that’s when I see Sophie on the deck.

  She’s holding Lyric, letting him splash his hands in the puddles on the railing of the deck. I want to walk out there and be a part of their moment. I want her closer. I want her to walk inside the house and be near me. My heart beats louder, memories of last night surfacing.

  I know one thing for certain, even if I don’t know where her and I stand, I don’t want some other guy raising my son.

  Raven’s still beside me and snaps her finger in my ear. “Don’t tell him Lenny’s missing.”

  I give her a confused look. “Who?”

  “Red,” she whispers. “He doesn’t know.”

  “How did you lose her?”

  “We didn’t lose her. She spent the night with me and Tyler because the bride can’t see the groom the day of the wedding, but when we got up, she wasn’t on the couch and her Bronco was gone.”

  “Think she ran?” You have to admit all the signs were pointing that way.

  “No, you idiot. She’s probably….” She pauses, thinking of what to say and then picks up a doughnut off the counter. “Well, I don’t know what she’s thinking. She was clearly nervous, but she wouldn’t have left. Besides, her son’s in the other room. She wouldn’t leave her kids.”

  She has a valid point. Lenny wouldn’t leave the kids.

  “I need to go search for her but whatever you do, do not tell Red. Tell him she’s upstairs and he can’t see her.”

  “Fine.” Reaching around her, I grab a doughnut off the counter from the box laid open.

  As I’m chewing and watching Sophie from a distance, Beck comes closer.

  “We didn’t come for you,” he says, reaching for a beer in the fridge. He practically grew up here so comfort is something he definitely has in my parents’ house.

  “I know.” I don’t look up, moving to the table with my notebook in hand. I’m not sure why I don’t, but it mostly has to do with the last time I saw him, we weren’t on good terms and I wonder how much of what he said in anger he meant.

  “We’re here for Red,” he tells me, sitting down next to me at the table.

  “I know,” I repeat. The last thing I want to do today is make this about me, because if anyone needs today to go smoothly, it’s Red. He’d more than likely murder my ass anyhow. I was on the receiving end of his punch the other night and you know, crazy enough, it’s not something I want to experience ever again.

  When Beck opens the beer, he dips his head and waits for my eyes to meet his.

  I look up from the set list I worked on last night and push the paper to him. “How’s this look?”

  He picks it up. For a second he’s quiet and I know the exact moment he’s going to look up at me and he does. “You’re actually going to play ‘Unbound’?”

  I nod, but I don’t say anything, just the title to the sound makes me nervous. “Unbound” is the song I wrote for Sophie after we broke up. The very next day.

  My Grandpa Carson, who influenced me musically from a very young age, once told me, “Boy, you can’t write shit until you’ve experienced being in the shit.” He liked to use the word shit. Anyway, I never truly understood him until I had my heart broken for the first time.

  It was then with a bottle of Black Label I stole from the liquor cabinet, I wrote “Unbound.” It’s the first song I ever wrote and until the other night, I’ve never played it. Linc and Beck both pushed me to play it about a year ago, but I’ve always resisted.

  “I might skip over that one.”

  He gives a slow shake to his head, blowing out a breath. “You shouldn’t. It’s fuckin’ amazing.”

  “I know.”

  He frowns. “You keep saying that.”

  I nearly say it again, and then half smile, clasping my hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you guys came.”

  His eyes move to the backyard. “Listen… about last week….”

  I hold my hand up before he can say anymore. “Don’t, man. I know why you guys said what you said and you’re right, I was fucking up and I needed a reality check.”

  He nods, seeming to understand we don’t need to talk about it. “Are you nervous?” he asks and then the door to the garage closes and in walks a barefoot Lenny, wet feet squeaking as she walks across the tile floor.

  “Of course I’m fucking nervous,” Lenny answers, pushing her hair from her face. She’s absolutely soaked from head to toe and looks like she’s been rolling in mud.

  I chuckle when I notice she has something white all down the front of her. “What the fuck happened to you? Did Chevy puke on you?”

  Lenny glances down at the white spots, then to Beck, then me. “A bird shit on me.”

  I eye her from head to toe. “Where were you? Raven’s freaking out.”

  “Long story,” she mumbles, walking past us to the stairs. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to shower and look somewhat presentable this afternoon.” And as she’s walking up the stairs, she’s cursing out a bird.

  When Lenny’s out of sight, I look back over at Beck and the playlist in front of me. “Most of these we already know. I think we should practice this country one. We haven’t played it before.”

  Beck nods, eyes on Lincoln as he enters the room.

  “So Red asked you to play?” Lincoln asks, cupping me on the shoulder as he takes a seat next to us.
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br />   “Yeah, he did actually.” I laugh, shaking my head. “Shocked the hell out of me.”

  He laughs. “And I hear you’re a father now?”

  I smile. “Yeah, Lyric.” I give a nod over my shoulder. “He’s out there with Sophie.”

  My stare drifts from the boys to the one in her arms. “I may not have done anything good in the last three years, but that little boy, I just hope I can do right by him.”

  Beck chuckles and my eyes snap to his. “Holy shit, who are you?”

  I laugh and give a slight shrug to my shoulders. “I don’t even know. Reality I suppose.”

  The sky’s cloaked in gray clouds and there’s a steady mist of rain. No one wants it to rain on their wedding day but here it is, raining on the day Red and Lenny are set to say their vows.

  I smile, remembering. There’s a wedding happening here today. A binding of two hearts for eternity.

  Bright orange, red and brown leaves scatter with the wind just as a piece of my hair flies in my face. Lyric squirms in my arms, his attention on the backyard where he usually plays, only now it’s being transformed with chairs, hay bales, and whiskey barrels. Before me is a place, a destination where Red and Lenny will exchange their vows today.

  Red and Tyler wade through the wet grass attempting to make room for the canopy they’re going to pick up. They’re deep in conversation while Tyler assures him everything will be fine today, only Red’s running his hands obsessively through his hair. He’s nervous.

  “Mamamama,” Lyric babbles, pointing to the sliding glass door behind us. I know he doesn’t know what he’s saying, but I still love he’s saying Mama.

  Rain pelts the windows and my stare is drawn to the way they bead together and slide down the window when they become too heavy.

  Just on the other side of this sliding glass door, Rawley sits with his boys. I know he is because my heart’s thumping wildly and it knows where he is at all times.

  His touch. I remember his touch. The events of last night surface and I smile.