Everlasting Light Read online

  I GREW UP around music. It was all I’d ever known. I’d been strumming on a guitar since I was old enough to pick one up. After graduating high school six years ago, I struggled to get my music heard on the radio. I played in every bar and coffee shop imaginable, and even stood outside on the street corner a few times just to get my music heard. Then, I fought with bar owners, record producers, managers, and even other musicians just to get heard.

  Eventually, I was invited to tour with Sam Shaver, still without a recording contract or even the intention of recording an album. I was just looking for exposure. I traveled around from city to city, pouring my heart into my lyrics and performances.

  I put my life and every relationship on hold for my dream, in hopes that once I made something of myself, those I cared about would still be there. I lost my girl and my friends. Then I made some new ones, but lost them too. Nearly everyone wanted to be my friend, but for all the wrong reasons.

  Once someone found out you were a musician, they came out of the woodwork trying to gain your trust before destroying your life.

  I had one girlfriend all through high school, Payton West. When I left Mountain Brook, Nashville bound and playing in a different bar every night, I fucked up a few times, made some decisions I wished I could take back, but I couldn’t, and it ended our relationship.

  We remained friends and still hooked up on occasion. I think she understood because Payton was a musician as well. She understood what that lifestyle brought with it. That didn’t mean she wanted to work it out, just that she wanted the occasional trusted fuck.

  “Hey, can you send Miles and Gavin a message and let them know we’re on our way?”

  Clearing my throat, I looked out the window, away from Wade. “Nah.”

  I wasn’t thrilled about going to Lake Martin in general. That crowd and these university parties were exactly what I wanted to stay away from.

  Even though my voice had been laced with harshness, Wade flipped his hand at me, like it didn’t matter. “Stop being an asshole,” Wade grumbled, reaching for his phone. “It’ll do you some good to hang out with your friends for a weekend instead of being buried in your music. You know there’s a life outside of that, right?”

  “I know…” I didn’t look at Wade, the same guy who’d watched me go through some of my worst moments while trying to keep this dream alive. The brutal ones where I was a drunken asshole and blaming my own faults on everyone else. Hell, that was this morning, wasn’t it?

  During that time, I didn’t want to admit to him, or to myself, that I’d thrown anything away, especially the relationships in my life. I had let so many people down, I wasn’t sure I had anyone left.

  But I did, guys like Wade and Miles. No matter how often I ignored them, they stuck by me in hopes I’d see them.

  They wanted nothing from me but my friendship. Never once had they asked for a favor or even money. Not that I had much of that anyway. I could barely afford to keep my apartment in Birmingham.

  Wade was my cousin, but I’d known Gavin and Miles just as long as I’d known Payton, since we were probably all snot-nosed brats tearing up the streets of Mountain Brook, Alabama.

  Payton, with her long brown hair and wide-set green eyes, had my heart from a young age, but times changed in the six years since we all graduated. Or maybe it was my infidelity that was too much for her. Probably that.

  Squinting into the sun, I adjusted my hat and then looked over at Wade. “University party, huh? How’d you find out about that?”

  “Gavin.” Wade kept his eyes on the road. “He’s been seein’ some chick who just graduated.”

  Some chick meant he was just fucking around with some college girls.

  The more I thought about the party, the more it sounded like it might be fun. It had been months since I went out.

  “You know I gotta be in Montgomery on Tuesday for a show, right?”

  “So, that’s next week,” he blew me off. “Let loose for the weekend. It’d do ya some good.”

  Rolling my eyes, I shifted my gaze back out the window. Drawing in a deep breath, I thought about the show in Montgomery and what it’d mean. This was my first tour with Sam, and I wasn’t sure what he’d expect from me opening for him.

  The first few shows were good, but I kept waiting for him to say, “Hey, this ain’t working for me.”

  We arrived at the lake about fifteen minutes later and parked next to a line of trucks in front of Miles’ parents’ house. Being their only son, he had free rein of their home and toys when he wanted.

  Looking around at all the women half-naked and dancing in the beds of trucks and on the dock, I knew this weekend might be a bad idea.

  My eyes shifted again to my guitar as I reached for it.

  “You gonna play tonight?”

  I shrugged, knowing at some point tonight I’d be asked to by someone. “I might.”

  I brought my guitar with me everywhere. Wade reached to the dash for his dusty black hat. Placing it over his wild mess of curly dark hair, he gave me his smile that reminded me of the Joker.

  I was reluctant to move, ready to change my mind, when Miles hit my arm that was hanging out the open side window. “C’mon, boy, party’s already started.” With a longneck in one hand, he rubbed down his bare stomach with his free hand. “I’ve got my eye on some babes down by the water.”

  I bet he did. Miles was one of those guys who had a different girl every night, sometimes more than one in a night.

  Wade laughed and grabbed the case of beer sitting between us, nodding out the windshield at a girl walkin’ by. “Lookin’ good.”

  Miles rarely had a shirt on during the summer and always had a girl or two he was working on getting with. When he achieved that goal, he’d move on to the next, girl that is.

  My stare drifted from the direction of his to a blonde with long legs I wouldn’t mind wrapped around my waist.

  I smiled at him, snatching a beer before he took off with them. “Not bad.”

  Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so painful.

  Okay, so I was going to a party and Beau would be there. As I stood barefoot in my dorm room, surrounded by boxes that would be picked up later that night by the moving company, I listened to Laney in the hall talking to Gavin on the phone.

  “Yeah, I’m bringing Bentley with me.” And then she giggled, as if it was a joke. It probably was a joke to her—me, going out to a party.

  Now, what to wear with Laney’s tiny shorts? I couldn’t just wear anything. I mean, Beau Ryland was going to be there. I had to, well, look like the hottest girl on the planet.

  Right?

  RIGHT.

  Stop. He’s not even going to look your direction. Just go to get a glimpse, and then go on with your life.

  There, that’s great. You’re onto something now. Don’t get your hopes up and you won’t get hurt.

  Slumping back against the bed, I felt hopeless. It was pointless to think he’d notice me.

  “What are you doing?” I screamed at myself, and even stomped my foot. The idea of going to a party was nerve-racking in itself, then add on Beau being there, and I wasn’t sure what to think, or wear.

  I eventually settled on the jean shorts and a black tank top that read: Somethin’ bad’s about to happen. It wasn’t mine, it was also Laney’s.

  “Are you ready yet?” Laney asked, peeking her head through the open door. “Gavin’s in the parking lot.”

  With a sigh, I turned to face her, ready to get this weekend over with.

  Squealing, Laney’s hand clasped over her mouth as her eyes traveled over my body. “Oh, my God! Look at you and your body. Who knew you actually had curves under those sweatpants?”

  I waved my hand in her face, trying to move her out of the way. “Oh stop. I wore regular clothes to school.”

  “Barely. Yoga pants and sweats don’t count as clothes.” Her hands then cupped my breasts. “And you have tits. I never knew that.”

  “They’re comfy.
” Taking her hands in mine, I removed them from my breasts.

  “Still, they’re not everyday clothes.”

  “Shut up,” I pushed her out of my way, “and let’s go before I change my mind and put my sweatpants back on.”

  “We’re going.”

  After digging through a couple boxes, I tossed some clothes in a bag and we were running out our dorm room to meet Gavin.

  THE REALITY OF what I was doing didn’t hit me until we were at the lake and I saw his gray Ford parked in the field. He was here.

  Gavin drove us out to Lake Martin where a guy named Miles Wheatley was having a party. Apparently, he was a good friend of his, and Miles’s parents owned a house right on the lake.

  With my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, ready to burst at any moment, my shaking hand reached for the door handle. I wanted to vomit and then slap myself for allowing a guy I’d never actually spoken with to hold so much control over me.

  I turned to glare at Laney as Gavin watched me with amusement. “I’m only staying for tonight. I’m leaving in the morning.” I had no idea how I was going to get back, but I’d find a way somehow.

  “Fine, but you’re getting drunk tonight and enjoying yourself.”

  I snorted. Get drunk and enjoy myself? Sure, I could do that, right?

  There was no harm in being a college graduate for a weekend. Party. Let myself relax and enjoy life for once. Slow sip bourbon and shotgun a beer. Get high on the night and breathe in the smells of lake water and whiskey while dancing barefoot in the Alabama red clay.

  I could do this.

  Opening the door, country music bellowed through the field, headlights lighting up a field full of pickup trucks. Among the trucks were hundreds of people, half-naked and swaying with beer and Solo Cups in hand. Smoke swirled from around the fire near the lake, laughter and music resonating in the air.

  So this was what I had been missing out on all these years?

  At first, I didn’t think it was much, and then I saw the crowd and heard the music. The warm breeze and the energy in the air washed through me. The atmosphere was captivating.

  I could see the lake in the distance and a large gray home with dozens of college graduates surrounding it; some I recognized, others I didn’t.

  Most everyone was on the lawn leading down to the water or the dock, which sprawled out and curved around a swimming bend in the lake.

  To the right were tents surrounding a bonfire. Though the sun was still dancing along the tree line, smoke billowed up while sparks moved and swirled as guys fussed with the logs, longnecks in hand. A fire shined, glowing brighter as we walked, and the crackling of firewood could be heard over the conversations around me.

  My heart fluttered watching the scene before me. These people were relaxing…living, just letting go of everything and enjoying themselves. I could do that, right?

  To my right, Laney wrapped her arm in mine, steering me in the direction of the house where a keg was on the deck. “Let’s get you a drink.”

  “Maybe we could start slow, like with water.”

  “No.” She shot me down instantly with a scowl. “We start now.”

  The thought of drinking beer made me want to gag. Laney noticed and elbowed me. “Live a little, girl. Look.” She raised her hand and pointed near the lake to where the bonfire was. “Let’s grab drinks and head down there. Gavin’s down there with Blaine and Wade.”

  My eyes went wide. “You mean Blaine, as in Beau’s twin sister?”

  “Yes.” Laney gave me that look, the one that begged me not to be weird. “She’s here.”

  I was begging myself not to be weird.

  Beau was not only the hottest man on the planet, but he had a beautiful twin sister and a gorgeous older brother, Jensen. I was actually surprised their parents didn’t have any more kids, considering how attractive their children were. If I were them, I would have just kept having kids to populate the world with beautiful Ryland babies.

  The keg was surrounded with about five guys, all laughing until Laney and I approached. Then it was all eyes on us. Laney winked at them when someone handed her two red plastic cups to fill.

  I watched closely as she filled the cups to the brim, before handing me what looked to be urine in a cup and smelled exactly as I remembered beer to smell like. From the time I was five, to the day he finally left when I was fifteen, my dad drank every Sunday to the point where he passed out. Believe me, I remembered the smell distinctively.

  Stepping down from the porch, I watched my boots sinking into the dirt. “I hope you don’t expect me to actually drink this.” I stared offensively at the cup, regretting my thoughts of shot gunning a beer.

  “Humor me. At least pretend to drink it, because there’s Beau—” she brought her cup casually to her lips, smiling “—and you need to look like you at least fit in with this crowd.”

  The mention of his name sent my heart thudding out of control. My hands shook, the beer splashing around over my fingers as I gripped the cup a little too tight.

  Laney noticed and shook her head. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

  My eyes frantically searched for him, scanning the lawn, the lake, and then I was rewarded with the sight by the fire.

  Beau Ryland.

  The love of my life, right there.

  His body was leaning casually to one side on a log, a beer dangling in his hand and a guitar at his feet. Wearing a dark gray T-shirt and jeans with that same old red baseball hat I remembered, he was irresistible. There was a certain modesty to him, a slow grace in his movements. He was calm, attentive to the conversations around him.

  I wanted to go sit next to him, introduce myself as his future wife and baby mama, and then have a drink with him. Only my nerves rooted me in place and I realized how pathetic all that sounded.

  He probably wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

  As the sun began to sink down, I watched him and the way he interacted with everyone.

  Too bad I wasn’t watching where I was walking. Overgrown grass made it hard to see where we were going.

  Not paying attention to my surroundings, Laney and I walked through the yard, my stare on Beau.

  And then, as graceful as I was, I tripped over a log as we went down the hill. I wasn’t sure what it looked like to others, but it was mortifying for me.

  I did the move where I face-planted and flopped down the hill into another log. There went my beer, and me, sailing through the air.

  When I landed, on Beau Ryland’s lap.

  On.

  His.

  Fucking.

  Lap.

  “Fuck, are you okay?” Beau gasped, his eyes wide as he helped me to a sitting position and touched my face, pushing my hair out of the way to examine me.

  Well my plan for nonchalantly bumping into him worked, didn’t it?

  I didn’t answer. I think I was in shock at what just happened, and my mind was racing.

  He’s touching me!

  His knees were in the dirt now, kneeling before me. “Shit, you’re bleeding.” His head turned. “Miles, get me a towel and some ice.” Someone tossed a T-shirt at him and he pressed it to my head.

  The last thing I wanted to do that night was announce my presence to Beau Ryland by falling on my face. I’d imagined a calm, casual, and, hell, even sexy introduction.

  Not one where he was hovering over me—along with ten others—applying a T-shirt to my head where I was apparently bleeding.

  It was evident I hadn’t mastered the tuck and roll.

  Instead, I probably resembled something similar to my mother when she saw a spider—arms flailing, legs scrambling, and a look of pure horror.

  It wasn’t the first time I had ever looked at him, but it was the first time I’d seen him in person in four years. He had a more manly appearance to his six-foot frame. Muscular with a defined chest and arms, I could tell he spent some time inside the gym. His hair was longer than I had seen it in the past, chocolate stra
nds grazing his thick lashes that framed his sky blue eyes.

  As I laid there, a man of pure heavenly beauty staring down at me in concern, I realized my possibility of needing stitches took any romance out of our first formal introduction.

  Why are you so pretty? my dazed mind wondered.

  “Can you talk?”

  See, he thinks there’s something mentally wrong with me. Great.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled, glaring at my now empty beer, the cup magically still in my hand.

  How did I not spill that?

  They mistook my glare for thinking I needed another one, and someone laughed, “Get Tumbles another beer.”

  Beau’s lips quirked into a smile, but he said nothing to them.

  Nice. I got a nickname already.

  Ten minutes later, I was propped against a cooler, another beer being placed in my hand, while Blaine, Beau’s twin sister, performed first aid to my forehead, giving me a cheerful smile.

  Blaine had been going to college at Auburn University for six years. Her majors switched monthly from what I’d heard.

  “I got this,” she told me, digging through a first aid kit. “I’m Blaine. I’m going to school to be a registered nurse, so this is great practice,” she said, sweeping a wet cotton wipe over my forehead. With a heart-shaped face and tender blue eyes, she had a gentle touch I appreciated, given how sore my face was. “So you’re in good hands.”

  I hope this doesn’t leave a scar.

  “Glad I could help you out.” My tone was laced with sarcasm, but I gave her a small smile. I didn’t want her to think I was a bitch.

  “I thought you wanted to be a lawyer, B-Love,” Miles noted, smiling at Blaine and rubbing his bare stomach before taking a handful of chips and shoving them in his mouth.

  “Too much school for that.” She glared over at Miles. “And don’t call me B-Love, asswipe. I’m nothing to you and certainly not your B, or your love.”

  “You know, if you would have stuck with law to begin with, you would have graduated already.”

  Blaine scowled, her touch still gentle as she cleaned my wound. “Shut the fuck up. No one was even talking to you.”